Jesus Wept: Having Faith While You’re Grieving (In Real Time)

Grief hits… and suddenly your whole life looks different.

And if we’re being real — sometimes you’re sitting there asking:
 “God… what is the point?”

In this Fearless Friday, we’re not speaking from the other side.
 We’re speaking in real time.

We’re walking through:

• miscarriage
• losing people you love
• grieving a life you thought you’d have
• and still trying to hold onto Jesus in the middle of it

Because you can know all the scripture…
 you can know all the “right things to do”…

👉 and still feel angry
 👉 still feel numb
 👉 still not want to pray

And that doesn’t mean your faith is gone.

We talk about:

• what it really means that “Jesus wept”
• why grief is not linear
• how to keep choosing God when you don’t feel Him
• how to actually show up for someone who’s hurting
• and letting go of needing all the answers

This one is heavy.
 This one is honest.

And if you’re in it right now — you are not alone.

CONNECT WITH US:

Come hang with us outside the podcast — we’re walking this out in real time over here too:

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👉 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@fearlessqueenspodcast

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 We’re building a community of women who are choosing Jesus — even when it’s hard.

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It helps more women hear truth in the middle of what they’re going through.

PRAYER OVER YOU:

If you’re grieving right now — we see you.
 More importantly, God sees you.

You are not alone in this.
 Even when you don’t feel Him… He’s still there.

FROM THIS EPISODE:

“Jesus wept… so why do we think we shouldn’t?”

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Jesus wept. Like he understands what you're going through, what you've gone through, what your friends are going through, what you will go through. Yes. And so we want to share that. Hello and welcome to another Fearless Friday. I am one of your hosts, Tina. And I am Sarah. Yay, Sarah is back. I'm so excited. We're gonna talk about a great and heavy topic today. Because if you're not going through it, you will one day. Exactly. And we're here to help you, we're here to lead you, guide you in the name of Jesus on how to do this.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

What are we talking about today? We're literally talking about grief in one hand and Jesus on the other. Holding space and pain for both those things to be true, having faith in the midst of pain when you feel like you have no faith at all.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Yeah. Yeah. And you know, the thing is, is we pray before every podcast, we pray about what we're gonna talk about, the week coming up to it. And I can say that I have gone through some pretty heavy grief. Those who know my story of losing my brother and four babies in my womb, and Sarah in real time is going through a similar yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

I also had a miscarriage, so it grief is weird, and it there's like a five-stage grief thing that we pulled up um of what the world says, you know, where you go, and it's probably psychology-based and all the things, but we want to take this biblical um because that's that's what we do here on the Fearless Queens podcast, and that's how you get through it.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Yes. I mean, you could know all the stages of grief, and that's great to be aware of the other person, what they're going through, what you may be going through. But I I just keep replaying in my head, you found the scripture, which is one of the shortest scriptures in the entire Bible. Jesus wept. Like he understands what you're going through, what you've gone through, what your friends are going through, what you will go through. Yes. And so we want to share that.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Yes. Um it's the kind of grief that you're still hurting, but you're still praying while you're hurting. Even though that's not what you want to do, even though it feels like it's what's the point? A lot of time. I mean, for me, speaking for myself, of when I get to that dark place, it's what is the point? And my brain will go all the way to well, Adam and Eve were created by God, and God already knew all of these things. He's the one that put Jesus on the earth to die on the cross for our sins because he knew we already stunk. And like, what is the point of all of it? And then I get to Job because we know if you read the Bible, then you're like, you know, God doesn't counterdict himself. So, like, I could ask all these why questions, and God's not afraid of your whys. Yeah, he wants you to come to him with all of your questions, and sometimes you're not gonna get an answer. And I won't ever probably know this answer. It's above my human psyche and brain and knowledge because I'm not God. And going to Job is where were you when I created the stars and the sky? And where were you when I put the order and the sun and the moon? All do the things that they're supposed to. And it's like, okay, because I mean, if you know anything about Job, he lost everything. He was grieving. But the thing that he didn't lose was his faith of Jesus, faith of God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the three-in-one triune God. And so with that, it's how do we have Christ-like, childlike faith still in the midst of grieving? Still, what does worship look like? What is talking to people look like? What is your daily life? And it's gonna look different for everyone, and every second of every day looks different. Um back in 2022, I felt like my like I was going through a caterpillar to cocoon to butterfly process um with grief and just different things of my life that were changing. And I feel as if God has me doing it again. Yeah, there is another level or another like road of growing to be done. So now it's caterpillar, cocoon, butterfly again.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

That's amazing and beautiful, and that's the journey to Christ, to be more like Christ, right? And it's interesting because when you went through that before, your butterfly cocoon, it was just you, yeah, you were just by yourself, like you weren't with anyone, you were live in an apartment by yourself, you can go on a date with Jesus if you wanted. Like it wasn't, you didn't have to answer to anyone else, you were involved in things, but nothing like how you are now.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

Yeah, grieving with the husband is way and because people grieve differently, and people both men and women are just built different. Yeah, um, so grieving looks different for girl woman to woman, male to male, but it's very different between male and female.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

And grieving isn't just like a person. Like, obviously, I think most people have at some point in their life lost somebody, but grieving also is grieving your old life, grieving a job that you are maybe in and you don't want to be in anymore. There's so much Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_00 5:24

So another grieving that I didn't realize was grieving an expectation of what you thought your life was gonna look like, the season, like what was going to happen, and then all of a sudden that's stripped and taken away from you. So you're grieving what actually never happened. Oh that right there has definitely been me personally like hit home.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

Um do you did we share that in the podcast? A couple podcasts? Um, I did a Chloe. Yeah, we talked about miscarriages, but like how you had a job, yeah, a job that you had prayed for.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Yes. Um, just a snapshot, so you're like, what are you people talking about? Um God has a reason for everything, and so like I'm talking about it now, and it still hurts. I and I don't know why, but I have to know because we're believers and we have faith in the Lord that if it ain't good, it's not done, and he wouldn't take something away if he didn't have something better happening. Yeah. And so what I cling to, two things while I share this story is one, my previous 2022 grieving situation, like that led to all the things that got to me, got me right now. Of here we are again, another grieving process. And you're gonna go through life and challenges and hills and valleys, and God's with you in the valley, even when you don't feel it, and even when you don't see it, and it's believing the lyrics, believing the scriptures, clinging on to things that you feel like are just balogna, but they're not because God's word is living, breathing truth. So um had a January of this year. Um I got pregnant with my husband. We were expecting a baby, so immediately had to quit my job. And I loved my job. I I didn't realize how much I loved what I got to do every day.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

You worked your tushy tail off to accomplish that. Like you turned away a job that you thought was gonna be it, but that thing that you turned away led you to new friendships. That new friendship led you to this new position, and you worked your tail off to like essentially try out for the position. This isn't just like you're sitting in an interview, like having a job, like having a conversation. Like you actually had to work hard to get to that point to even be interviewed. Yeah. And then the anticipation and the waiting and the am I gonna get it? Am I not gonna get it? And then you get it. And the relationships that you built in such a short time with the people that would come there. Like, yeah, it's not just the job. Right. There's everything else that went into it. I watched, I can only imagine the first one. Everyone's like, oh, the second one? No, the first one. And Amy Grant asked Bart Miller, the Miller, the question, how long did it take you to write the song? And he's like, Oh, it took like five minutes, right? 10 minutes. I was in the bus, you know, whatever, writing it down. She's like, No, it didn't. It took you your whole life. And now we're being this is a little dramatic, take you your whole life, but well, so I was a dancer my whole life.

SPEAKER_00 8:22

And then I was in the place of I want to heal as much as I can. And I was using yoga as that. And I was like, I want to be, I want to heal even more. Let me go into yoga teacher training. And I was like, now I want to be the best teacher I can be. And that was when it was skirt. Yoga is not from God, it's based in Hindu practices. I was learning a lot about where it came from, and it's not just stretching. There's nothing wrong with stretching, so please don't hear what I'm not saying. However, when God gave took that away from me when I realized how deep I was going the wrong way, there is a thing to be the light in the where people are dark. But if you start to change and go to the darkness, then it you know that it's time for you to back out.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

And here's the thing on that one, real quick is if you give the de devil a foothold, he will get sneak in that little crack. Even if you are praising the Lord and worshiping and listening to worship music in that practice, if there's a little itty-bitty foothold, he breaks wide it and it opens up and you have no idea that he snuck in there. Yes. So it's not just about that, it's it's deeper than that. Do not give the enemy a foothold into your life, into your mind, into your heart, into your thoughts.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

Yes. And it takes discernment to know, like, okay, these crowd of people and these crowd of people, and you're the light. So you're you want to be around other like-minded lights so you can shine brighter in the dark. But when you're there solo, then it's discernment of, okay, am I starting to mold like these people who are living in darkness, or am I able to shine as bright as I can in the midst of the darkness?

SPEAKER_01 9:56

And there's scripture. Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world. He gave us that scripture because he knew that we're gonna conform. It's like herd mentality. It's like what your group is doing, you're all gonna do it. And I just like I'm I'm blown away in real time that there is a situation in my life where I have, I am definitely the odd one out. And I don't, I I continually choose to not go in with the herd and watching the herd and what's happening, not from a judgment perspective, but like, okay, I don't, I want to be different because I see what's happening. And it's hard. It's hard to be different, it's hard to walk the narrow path, it's hard not to be like lukewarm. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

And and grieving, like, okay, you used to fit in with that circle and now you no longer do because you have truth and light and God on your side. So there's a season for everything. Ecclesiastes says that. So, in the midst of that, God took away yoga way back when, but it propelled me to try out for spanga and it didn't work out, and then it led me to sweat and insert whatever it is. Maybe you were um writing music, and then you met somebody that you thought it was gonna be the end all be all, and it didn't work out, and you're like, what is going on? And then it brings you to the thing.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

So now we're when you're married, when you get married and the friends that you had before you were married that you thought were like really good friends, and then all of a sudden, like marriage changes you. So you're doing different things because you you should be if it's a holy covenant, you should be talking with your husband or your wife about choices and decisions. So then those friends change. So then it's not like you don't not like those friends anymore, but you're almost like grieving that past single life, yeah, and and coming into this new experience. So it could be anything, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:47

Anything. Chain, we are creatures of habit, and then it's it's like, okay, we get the habit down, we're doing it good, we're rocking and rolling, and then suddenly it all changes. God is a God of suddenly. You see it all in the Bible. There's so many things that's going on, and suddenly, but it took five ever for it to happen. But then all of a sudden, like Noah's flood, they had forever to figure it out, and then the day came. They waited for Christ to be born for forever, the Messiah to come, and it wasn't in the way that they thought or expected. So when Jesus came and turned the whole world around upside down, his kingdom is different than the world's kingdom. If you don't know, just read the Bible. And so they expected something different. So when he came the way God called him to come, they grieved the expectations that they were having because it didn't make sense. What do you mean, love your neighbor as myself, love, pray for your enemies? Like we want to, you know, destroy and conquer. So it's all your perspective of what would Jesus do? How would Jesus respond? And it's so much easier to say than to feel and to do. And so going back to the story of me, just when when certain things are like tied together, because it's not just the job, it's not just the baby, it's not just the community, it's not it's your routine, your habits, your day-to-day, the what you were doing, and then what why you lost it, because it's a hot place. So you can't grow a baby in a hot environment. Your belly's already hot enough, I guess. So you take that away. And so you're like, okay, I'm grieving what my life used to be, but I'm anticipating a love that's going to be greater. You know, you're giving something up to do something else. Well, then when they're both stripped away, now you're like, what's the point? At least for me. That was this is me speaking for me. And so I'm angry, upset, confused. Tina has the five stages of grief pulled up, and the first one's denial, and then the second one is anger, third is bargaining, fourth, depression, fifth, acceptance. And I don't think it's a linear. I think you can feel one. Yes. Definitely. Um, because for me, of what we're talking about, you know, losing a baby, losing a job all at the same time, losing kind of figuring out like, who am I without these things? It was like rebuilding. Who am I if this doesn't exist anymore? And who am I gonna be if I'm not gonna be a mom like I thought I was gonna be? Wow.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

Wow. Yeah, that's even thinking about like when I lost my brother, and it's like, who am I? Because I'm not his sister, but I am his sister, he's just in heaven, and how do I talk about it? You know, even yesterday or Saturday when the guy asked, Are you still close with your brother? I was like, Well, how do I say this without making it super awkward? And you just say it. Yeah, but who are you without those things? Gosh, who are you without the label of mother? Who are you without the label of podcaster or aunt or whatever? Because you know, to dust you were born and to dust you will return. You go, you leave with nothing. There's you said there's no luggage rack. My grandpa used to say there's no luggage luggage rack on a hearse. Like it's so true, but like really when it comes down to it, how do you do?

SPEAKER_00 15:23

And we talked about the beginning of the year, um, prayer boards. So I look at my prayer board, and the bottom right corner is you know, build, build on the rock. It's in Matthew. Build this house on the rock. So when the winds blow and the storms come, you aren't shaken to there's no firm foundation. Like I do know that our life, my life is built on a firm foundation, and I pray to God that yours is too. Because when things come and they will, if you're not going through it right now, it will. The Bible promises that you will suffer in this world, but take heart because Jesus has overcome the world and he's with you in the fire, and we're gonna get to that. Um, but I look at that and I'm like, why did I write that? God always sets you up, he's light years ahead. You know, we say all the time, you live life forward and learn it backwards, but God sees your entire life from the backwards. So he's prep preparing you forward for what's to come. So we live in a world full of sin. Do I think that God made miscarriages happen? No. But it's an answered prayer in the sense of we people who knew that I was expecting for the short period that I was, um, were praying for a healthy baby. And your body, if you're a woman and this, you've gone through this, we've touched on this a little bit, but essentially your body is answering that prayer because something was not aligning correctly, if you will, um, for it to be a healthy baby.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

And you know, God uses what the enemy meant for evil, God uses it for good. And even if it's just the, you know, sin that has entered the world, and that's why these things happen, because of the sin, he's turning around for good. He's working in and through our lives to create the fearfully and wonderfully made woman that he has created in Sarah or in me or in you. Like you are fearfully and wonderfully made. That's not just for women, that's for men and women. And because of this experience, because of your experience, you can either choose to, you know, stay in that cocoon and never come out and be a butterfly, or you can one, take it to God and pray and worship.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

And and these things are all extremely hard to do. When you know, as a Christian, you probably know these things. Worship while you're waiting. Um, bless him while you're in the storm. Like there's literally lyrics that say these things, but to feel them, to get yourself to sing them, to get yourself to go to these places, to truly feel them or say them when you don't feel them and you don't want to do it. It's doing what you don't want to do when you know you should be doing it.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

And I love that. That is, you can just, you know, we we were a little nervous about how we were gonna talk about this podcast because we want to be sensitive, but also we're also like, well, we don't know because we're literally going through it from the perspective of going through it and helping someone go through it, like, right? And as I hear you talk, it's like this is she's talking in real time. So there are people who are going through it in real time. And then I'm talking from kind of like either the other side or also the perspective of being able to help encourage and build up. And the Lord just knows He's with you and He will lead you and guide you and strengthen you. And you can know all the scripture in the world, you can know everything in the world, but what are you putting into your mind? What are you putting into your heart? But more importantly, that's kind of what she touched on. More importantly, is how do we love and encourage and build another up while they're going through it? And it's been a little bit of a dance, yeah. And make sure she's okay. And it's like, but is that what I told you to do? Is from God. Like, is that what I told you to do? Did you know when you when you see someone and like I have a really great RBF and some people kind of stay away for the most part? And if they don't, I'm just like, whatever. I used to I used to go in and like hunker down and like literally cry and knock it out of my bed. I that's how I used to handle things. And sometimes I do that. However, as I talk to the Lord about how to deal with it, or how not deal with it, but how to help and encourage, have you talked to God about your friend before you go and talk to your friend?

SPEAKER_00 20:01

And then especially before you go talk to a friend about the friend. Usually that's the first thing that we do. Have you heard about so-and-so? What's going on? Is everything okay? How's she doing, or how is he doing? Instead of maybe the first thing could have been before the third thing was like, friend, how are you? Or friend, are you good? But even before that, we're breaking it down of like talk to God. Because if you're talking to God about somebody or something or someone or whatever, then you're gonna have the knowledge and revelation when he gives it to you, if he gives it to you of how to show up for that person. Because intentions, great intentions are great, but also great intentions are the pavement way to hell. And I'm not saying that if you're trying to be there for somebody like you're being, you're like hell. But sometimes people don't want or need the bomb, the love bombing because it's too much. And I'm speaking for me. I don't some people might need all the support that they can get in that moment because that's who they are.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

I think that's that's the gift of discernment. And you can only receive the gift of discernment if you pray for the wisdom and revelation and the knowledge of the Lord. And so I think sometimes there are people that want the love and the hug and the attention. I think before you go in and just want all the information or like bombard somebody, it's kind of like if if somebody, if you don't know something about somebody and you go and ask them about it, how uncomfortable is it for them? And for me, does that make sense? Say that again. I just think about how the the age old, if you don't know if someone's pregnant and you go in and you ask, Are you pregnant? And they're like, No, I'm just fat, or no, I lost the baby. Like, have you really thought about what you said before you say it? Type of thing. But insert anything.

SPEAKER_00 21:53

Think before you speak, right?

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Or yes, and let's change it to pray before you speak.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

That's why we got two ears, one mouth.

unknown 22:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

This is all like duh, but sometimes but yeah, some it truly needs like breaking down. Let's get back to the basics. And then we we're talking about, we're jumping around, but it this has to do with suddenly grief, identity, helping somebody in the midst of all of that. Um having your trust in the Lord, your firm foundation. When things shake, you're standing on the word. Because yes, as much as like things have sucked lately and I've been angry and I've been depressed and I have been for I thought I'd like accept. Yeah, I don't even know if it's denial. Like, okay, I it is as I'm saying it is like, did this did it even happen? That's my thing is like, did any of that even happen to me? Like, was I real like, did I have this job for a year and like that was my life? And then I like got pregnant and now I'm not, and I don't have that. Like it all just happened so suddenly that I blinked and my whole life was different. And then I blinked again and my whole life was different.

SPEAKER_01 23:03

Yeah, I and I think that's as you're going through grief, I think that's how you feel.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

It's like a shock, it's a system shock, and then it puts you in check of where's your faith built? Where's your identity really? Who who are you when nobody's around? Who are you trusting in all of this? And those are hard, heavy questions to sit with when you really don't even know that those are the questions you're being asked sometimes. Of like, okay, this is gone. Now what? This has changed, now what? Who are you during all this stuff? And that's like, God, I don't know. You you gotta help me. Like the Bible says, you know, fearfully and wonderfully made, we were created royal for such a time as this. You were knitted for a purpose for a reason in your mother's womb before your parents ever met, all these things that the Bible talks about, and it's clinging on to the word when you might not believe it, but instead of replaying over and over and over what you wish would have happened, what you want it to be, how you could have changed it, or that this was your fault, or if maybe I could go back and you're trying to grasp, like hold on to what was when God's like, bro, it's over. Let it let it go and let God. It's all these cliches, but the cliche when the cliches become real, that's when faith got has to kick in.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

Yeah. What's the Isaiah 43 scripture we had?

SPEAKER_00 24:41

It is Isaiah 43 verse 2. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. When you cross rivers, you will not drown. When you walk through fire, you will not be burned. The flames will not hurt you. So in all of that, I don't see when the waters pass through when you pass through the waters, he'll he's gonna be with you. It doesn't say when you go under the water, when you go over, like you gotta go through it.

SPEAKER_01 25:11

Or don't go around. Yes, the shortcut.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

Yeah, when you cross rivers, you're not gonna drown. So again, going through it, there's no other way, even though we as human beings try to find a different way.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

Well, that's probably denial. Yes, like I'm gonna go do this, I'm gonna go take care of this, I'm gonna and and for a season, maybe you need to be in that little bit of denial to take care of things that need to be taken care of, but then you need to come back around to it.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

Because grief will creep in forever. Forever. Yeah, it is these are things that shape you and prune you. So we think of the Bible and the analogy of faith the size of a mustard seed. So we've talked about the mustard seed on here before. Nobody actually plants a mustard seed in their garden because it takes over the entire garden. That's what God wants to do. He wants to take over your entire life, aka your garden, and he's sifting through the weeds versus the healthy flowers that are blooming and growing. And I know for me, the plants that I have at my house, I'm I peel off the ones that are starting to die, and even the ones that are like, oh, they're they're fine, but if I take them off, there's more room for it to grow. So I don't. This is me again. I don't think that my job or having a baby or getting pregnant and then losing the job and losing the baby. I don't know what I don't know what God's doing. I have zero clue. Do I miss that and the baby and then what would have been and what could have been? Uh yeah, I grieve and I cry about it a lot. And it's put me in a depression state. And I didn't know depression didn't mean that you just were crying because I'm not, I've never been a crier. I was told my whole life, like, stop crying, drink some water. Like, okay, let me just drink some water, let me put a washcloth on my head. I'm gonna be fine. Um side note on that, tears are healing, tears are welcomed. It doesn't mean that you're sad or like you can't handle it, it means that it's refreshing and like those feelings are coming out because they all gotta go eventually, and they're gonna come out in some way, some shape, and some form. Anger's deep hurt. Um but anger, that's where I was, and it says it depression and anger, but feeling numb, that's a form of depression. I mean, I don't know about you, but have you ever felt that like you physically can't get out of bed? Like you know that you need to get out of bed, and the world is going on without you, but you feel like you have shackles on you that you just can't get up. You're not alone. These are coming from two Christian people who wear crazy things of like done with lukewarm faith, and then it's like, okay, okay, where is your faith? Is your and then where's your identity? Is it in what I've told you that you are? Because sometimes I'm like, did you take it away? This is me, because we gotta have a reason for it all. And sometimes there's just no reason.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

Yeah, that's exactly it. That sometimes there's not a reason. There can be purpose in it, but the reason I I always have to have a reason for why am I crying?

SPEAKER_00 28:28

And then it's like, why do I have to why do I have to analyze myself of why I'm crying?

SPEAKER_01 28:32

Because it's I mean, it's a control thing, it's half it's even like needing to know what what the purpose is. Why did God do, you know, why did sin happen? Why did God create this? Why did God create that? But if we knew all these things, then we'd be God, right? And we're not God. So it's like maybe partially like stop asking all the questions and like start going to God more.

SPEAKER_00 28:53

Ask him the questions because sometimes we'll ask one another the question and we're not God, we don't know anything. It's helpful in prayer of you know, comfort my sister or my brother as they're asking these questions, or just give her peace that surpasses all understanding because it's confusion and confusion's not from the from God. Um, but everyone's gonna be different, so this isn't just a one size fits all. Yeah, this is really trying to be the friend that you would want to be. Be the friend that you would want when you're going through it. Some people do not want, hi, how are you? What's going on? You look sad. Are you tired? It's like, bro, now I'm angry. Like, I or like, are you okay? Is everything fine? You look a little sad. It's like, well, I was fine, but now I guess I'm not because I look, you think I look like that. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 29:47

Kind of like not the same thing, but kind of like when you don't wear mascara and people, or you're like, you had lashes and then you don't you look really tired. No, I just don't have mascara on. That's literally the only thing that's different. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 29:59

And when somebody's going through anything or they look a little off, that is probably the first cue of hey, let's talk to God about this person. Yep. Not talk to the person about what's going on and not even talk to the friends of the person or your friends about the person. The first thing would be to talk to God about the person.

SPEAKER_01 30:21

And I think this this a little bit touch on is a little bit, which I think I am very much aware right now in real time that God is working in and through me in the whole like gossip thing. And people might be like, oh, I definitely don't gossip. I promise you, you gossip. If you talk about somebody that's not around that's gossiping, whether it's good or bad, right? Like out of the and you have to think like a soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. So there is a difference, like, oh, we're we're, you know, like how is Sarah? Can we like I remember saying to somebody and they were like, you know, how is Sarah doing? She seems, you know, off or whatever. And all I said was, pray for her. She needs prayers. It's it's hard. And sometimes I like I can only imagine how irritated you must get because I'm like, why are you asking me? Like, and I don't mean that from a mean perspective or like, don't ask me ever what, you know, if Sarah's okay, I'm not saying that. Don't hear what I'm not saying. But before you ask me, have you either number one talk to her about it? And and this is anybody, we're just using our example. Yes, we're using our example. Anyone in any situation, have you talked to her about it? More importantly, have you prayed for her? Then have you talked to her? And then also, like instead of saying, How is she? say, how can I pray? Because clearly, if you're asking if something's wrong, you know something's wrong. As a woman, as a man, you just know. So it's like, have the courage, as much as you have the courage to talk about somebody behind their back, have the courage to pray for somebody behind their back.

SPEAKER_00 32:05

Yeah. And in that, so we are called to be beacons of light, you know, a salt, being the salt and light of the world. You know, you don't put a lamp underneath the table, you put the lamp on top of the table so it can shine bright. Um, and we're all called to be the light, we're all called to shine as bright as we can be because you're plugged into the source who's giving you the light to shine out. And it's not to say that when somebody's going through grief that they're not still plugged in, they're just plugged in for themselves more so because they got to be poured into before you can pour out. And so just because somebody's a little low battery doesn't mean that the bombarding and the questions of like, how are you? What's gone, what's wrong? It's like, can't we gotta give space for human beings to simply exist in a room? Like if they're if they're not acting themselves, okay. Before asking them, that's like let's turn and like ask the Lord, like, what's going on with my brother? What's going on with my sister? And then if God prompts you to go over there or do something or make a gesture, then honor God. Because you know that God wouldn't have told you to do that if it wasn't beneficial for that person.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

Yeah. I I think of the story I was telling you about before, really cool, like in real time. At church, there was something wrong with one of my friends, and I could, I could sense it in my heart. I knew something was off. I just didn't know what. And I, you know, I prayed for her, I walked past her, I put my hand on her shoulder and you know, just said, I'm sorry. And like she just kind of looked at me and you know, she walked away. And I just I let it be. I let it lie because I know in my heart of heart of hearts, if somebody wants to talk about something, most of the time they will talk about it. It's just how human beings generally work. And if they're not gonna talk to me about it, they're gonna talk to somebody about it. And maybe it's not me, even though I may want it to be me. Insert yourself, okay? So I prayed about it, I prayed for her. And then this morning in our group thread, I received what she needs prayer for. And I'm sharing this story because it doesn't matter what it is, what what she asked for, what I thought. What matters is I went to God instead of like knowing full well she's not okay because of the certain you know, symptoms, if you will, knowing she was not okay, going to God and then waiting.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Rather than knowing, seeing that your friend's not okay and be like, Are you okay? What's wrong? You look okay, you look a little sad.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

Thank you for stating what I am. State the obvious.

SPEAKER_00 34:46

It's like, come on, come on.

SPEAKER_01 34:48

Just like go up to people and say, How can I pray for you? That's it. That's the question. How can I pray for you?

SPEAKER_00 34:53

How can I pray for you? Because there are some days, and grief is not ain't nothing linear. It is woo, roller coaster ride of life. So grief is the same way. There are days that I do feel like myself, what I think I feel like myself again, and I'm like, yeah, woo. And then two seconds later, or like the next day, I'm like down bad, crying at the gym. Called hormones. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

Uh so you know, I gotta share a funny story, side note digression about hormones. So I'm reading this book, The Biblio Diet, which is so good. It's not per se a diet or about a diet, it's about like eating from the Bible, the way the Bible teaches us to eat. So tart cherries are really good for hormones. Didn't know that. I'm gonna buy me some tart cherries.

SPEAKER_00 35:39

I need to just bathe in them.

SPEAKER_01 35:43

So I said to my daughter, I like read the little inscription from the book about tart cherries, and she's like, and I and I said, like, we need to get you some tart cherries, kind of laughing about it. And she's like, it's not my fault. And she's 17 years old and she understands, like, it's not her fault. And so then I looked this morning on her grocery list and she put tart cherries on the grocery list. I'm like, thank you, Jesus. Like the way that, like, how many times I've struggled with how to deal with, even though, yes, I'm a hormonal woman, like, even though I just didn't know how to like help and approach her in that time, but in that moment, like, how many times did I pray for her? God created this, you know, little situation to be able to talk about it and not only talk about it, laugh about it, and then help. And she heard it, she received it, and she put the dang tart cherries on the list. And it's an analogy, but like, think about it. Like, if if you go to your friend and say, How can I pray for you? God gives you the wisdom, and then you wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And then God created that opportunity. God opened her heart and her ears to be able to hear the joke, to be able to hear the situation. And then she in turn did what she was called to do.

SPEAKER_00 36:54

Because how off-putting is it if God didn't give her eyes to see and ears to hear, and Tina or whatever is like, yeah, you need some tart cherries. And she's like, What do you mean? You know, and that's the thing of grief, and that's the thing of like anything in life. It's like, so what, like, okay, I'm sad, and like, okay, like, can't I just be like leave me alone kind of vibe? It's it's a fine line of like figuring out like where somebody's at, but that's where it's not you, that's the Holy Spirit in you and in them prompting you of what to do and like click clack kind of thing.

unknown 37:26

Amen.

SPEAKER_00 37:27

Um the scripture of Jesus, you know, God being close to the brokenhearted, and that's like, God, I can't feel you, I can't see you. Are you even around? Um, the Bible has really good stor like because it's a bunch of stories of people who lived prior to us. So Job is a sad story. I mean, he loses everything, but he doesn't lose his faith in God. And because of that, God rewards, but you're not in it for the reward. And he didn't know that that was gonna happen. Um he just trusts.

SPEAKER_01 38:00

Yeah, we're human beings, so I think probably in the back of our mind there is a little bit of that like reward in there, unfortunately, that makes us fleshy.

SPEAKER_00 38:07

But the but God does say if it is if it's not good, it's not done. He's working all things together for those who love him. So if it isn't good, it's going to be. Sometimes it's not on the side of heaven, sometimes it's in heaven and eternity. That's why you want to be right with the Lord.

SPEAKER_01 38:22

Well, even thinking about what you were talking about, Jesus, how Jesus said, Can you take this cup from me? And and then he says, Not my will but yours be done. And then he went to the cross. And then if it's not good, it's not done. He came back, gave us the Holy Spirit, and then he went up to heaven. Like that like just think about the death and resurrection, which we'll probably be hitting that this Sunday as it goes out, and we'll learn all about that. Like, he went through it. He was he was sweating blood because of the pain and the grief. And then he went and said to Peter, like, get up, wake up and pray so you are not tempted. And then what did he do? He didn't wake up and pray, and then he went and he was tempted until the rooster crowed. And then it's like, thank God he had that wisdom about the rooster crowing, because he could have gone and hung himself on a tree like Judas. Like, there's so much in what I just said, there's a lot of information, but it's basically the Bible. So read your Bible.

SPEAKER_00 39:19

Yeah. Jesus wept. That's when Lazarus died. Okay, and Lazarus was his friend that he raised from the dead. And it's like he went through all the emotions as a human, knowing that God was going to use Jesus for a greater miracle in front of everyone, that he's gonna raise somebody from the dead. Then we get to Jesus, you know, being betrayed by Judas, and he's asking his friends to pray with him because he's going through something crazy and he knows that it's coming. And he says, Father, if this is if you can at all take this cup away from me, like I don't want to do this. Like he's trying to get out of it. And the Bible says that he said that twice. He he was a human being, even though he was fully God, but he gave up all his godly rights and lived as a straight up human being in the flesh.

SPEAKER_01 40:06

So in the Bible where it says Jesus, Jesus wept, this is a uh ESV study Bible, and at 1135 it says, Jesus joins his friends. Sadness ends with heartfelt sorrow, yeah. Underlying it is the knowledge that resurrection and joy will soon follow. Jesus' example shows that heartfelt mourning in the face of death does not indicate lack of faith, but honest sorrow at the reality of suffering and death.

SPEAKER_00 40:37

It's so good. It is. There's a scripture on the sorrow. Let me grab that.

SPEAKER_01 40:44

Yeah, absolutely. And as she grabs it and we close up, but just want to thank you for listening today. And we know that there are brothers and sisters going through it right now in real time. And just as we say every week, we're gonna say it again. Open your Bible, read what the Lord says, put his word into your mind, put his song into your ears, look at him with your eyes to know and fill your heart so that the overflow is him and his words.

SPEAKER_00 41:12

So Ecclesiastics 1:18 is with much wisdom comes much disappointment. The person who gains more knowledge also gains more sorrow. So Jesus knew everything and he knew that he was coming here to do a fulfill a purpose. And he even then said, Lord, if God, if father, if this is not like if this is your will, fine, I'm here for it. However, like if I can get out of it, get me out of it. And when God didn't say anything, like he was silent, he was away. And so often when you're going through something, I mean, I know for me, I'm like, where are you? Are you even here? Like, and then it's you question like, do I even believe? Like, that's okay. It's okay to question like all the things because God can take them, God can take the questions. You're not alone, you see Jesus doing it, and it's so much easier to say these things when you're not feeling the things real. Um, and every time we say anything, we just spoon fed it right back. So um, it's just I it's not ironic, but it is the like the I look at the podcast that came before this when everything was hunky dory and it's talking about anxiety, it's talking about trusting the Lord, and then all this happens, and then you really have to walk it out because people are watching you, and we've said this so many times, and this is why quick Bible story of Naomi, Ruth, and Orpa. Okay, real quick, because Naomi, the it's the book of Ruth, it's super small, and we usually talk about Ruth and Boaz. However, Ruth would have never met Boaz if it wasn't for Naomi. And I say Naomi because she was a Hebrew and she married a Hebrew, and there was a famine going on, and her husband, who is the head of the household, didn't trust that God was gonna get them through the famine. So he did his worldly what he could do, and they moved to Moab, which is not a place from the Lord, not a part of the promised land. And so they started intermingling with Moabites, okay? So now they're intermingling with darkness, you know, light and dark. And if you're strong enough to be in the dark, then you're shining your light. But if you start to conform to the pattern of the world, then something, something's up, and you're becoming more like the people you're surrounding yourself with, then becoming more like Jesus. So that's what was happening in her whole family. Her two sons grew up in Moab, a place that was not from the Lord. So they didn't know that God had parted the Red Seas and got them out of slavery and like all the things that these people over here, if you're watching on YouTube, the Israelites knew about because they moved and they weren't surrounded by all of the stories. So Naomi's faith in God, even though she was surrounded by a Bunch of people who'd believed in other gods were worshiping and doing. So she looked like the oddball out. She looked like the weirdo, clinging on to what do you mean there's one God? What do you mean you pray to this one person? Like you're not gonna dress like us, you're not gonna talk like this, you're not gonna act like us. And so when her husband died, she's grieving and she's holding on to her sons that don't really know the God that she's trusting in because they know by her, but they didn't grow up in that. They just see it through her mom, and then it's up to them to decide like where they want to go. And then the two Moabite women who her sons married are Moabites, like they are from this place. So one of them, Orpah, not Oprah, was married and to the the older son, and that son died. So now Naomi, the mom of the two sons and the husband, two out of three are dead of who she came to this foreign land with. And then they then Ruth's husband dies. Her her baby, her the person that she was married to. So now Naomi, the mom, both her sons and her husband are dead. Talk about grief, talk about sadness, talk about loneliness, talking about wanting to turn, I mean, so many things that could be going through this woman's mind right now. And in the Bible, it still says she was trusting God and clinging to God. And you can see that by the way, she's walking and talking to her two daughter-in-laws who are from Moab. Like they don't believe in this God. But because I don't know, it doesn't say how long they were married, it doesn't give all the details in between all these things are happening. So there's a lot of room to wonder, but you got the facts, and so with Ruth, the difference between Ruth and Orpa, the two Moabites who married into the original Hebrew people who conformed to Moabites, Ruth started to see Naomi as like you're praying to this God, and like you don't, you're there's something different here. Like your faith in your God is different than the faith that Orpah has and my people have that I've grown up with and seen my whole life of all these other gods. And she you could see the difference of faith between the one true God and all the other gods that everybody else all around her is turning to and worshiping all the time. And so she decides because finally Naomi's like, I'm going back to where I came from. These are not my people. I want to be with my people who believe in my God, and she's going back. And so, customization, all the things I'm skipping. But essentially, Naomi and Orpa go with, and then suddenly she's like, You guys can turn around, like, you don't have to come any further. And one leaves, Orpah goes back to where she came from, all those people who believe in other gods. And because of Naomi's faith, Ruth is like, I'm not gonna go, I'm not staying here. I know too much about this God that I've been hearing about while I'm married to your son and how you pray and what you're doing and something's different. I can't pretend that I don't know these things anymore. And so I'm turning and going with you, even though she's not gonna see her family, even though she's not gonna see anybody from this place ever again. She is willing to step out in faith from somebody else's light shining so bright in the midst of deep grief and heaviness and darkness. And it's a holy woe because Naomi gets there, brings Ruth. Ruth marries Boaz, and through Ruth and Boaz comes Jesse, comes Obed. Well, Obed, Jesse, David, and through David comes Jesus. So it's because of one person's faith in the midst of suffering and grieving, her light was still shining enough to turn somebody else who was believing in other gods to propel Christ to come to earth. Like that's crazy. So when you're going through grief, people are still watching. And it's not about people, it's about you and God and having such that firm foundation that it sucks now. But there has to be a reason why you're going through it. And you might not know, but maybe you're bringing a Ruth alongside you in the next season of your life that's gonna change generations to come.

unknown 48:33

Like drop.

SPEAKER_01 48:34

Amen.

SPEAKER_00 48:35

That's all I got.

SPEAKER_01 48:36

That's it. Talk to God about your friend before you talk to your friend.

SPEAKER_00 48:41

I hope all that made sense. Thank you for uh stay sticking with us on this Fearless Friday. And until next time.

SPEAKER_01 48:48

Bye.